Reflection on My Digital Detox | Screen-free September Day 30

Happy October! The time of cooler weather, warmer drinks and if you’re me full access to the internet. It’s been thirty days. Days during which I learned quite a bit about myself. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I’m going to be reflecting on the experience as a whole. So, without further ado, here we go…

The Positives

• I was able to build up my reading habit once again after a bit of a dry spell reading-wise this summer.
• I noticed how often I mindlessly perused the internet.
• The month helped me develop an actual sleep schedule, which was a nice bonus.
• I realized I have a lot more time in the day than I previously thought; it became a lot harder to convince myself that I didn’t have time to do something because I was often very aware of how much time was left in the day.
• I started blogging again!
• I realized the bigger issue might be my addiction to checking my phone even if I know there’s no reason to.
• I made more time for self-care because I had more time.

The Negatives

• I missed playing puzzles games on my phone.
• There were a number of blogs and youtube channels that I find inspire me and/or add value to my life, and I missed those.
• Not being able to look up random stuff that I was curious about, even if it had no real importance to what I was doing.
• Being unable to relax by watching a TV show, which I find it hard to focus on reading.

There are almost twice as many positives as negatives, and after reading them through again, I have to say that the impact and importance of the positives drastically outweigh the negatives’. So, overall I think this month of being (nearly) screen-free as been a success. More so than I would have thought.

At the beginning of September, I was curious and skeptical. I thought the month would drag on, that I would catch up on all of my reading, and decide it wasn’t worth doing again. I was scared of being in my own brain so much. I was honestly scared of being bored.

And while the first two weeks did seem to take a while, the last two flew by. I had gotten used to it. It was the new normal. Of course, there were the daily small annoyances, but even then I knew that they would pass as quickly as they’d shown up. Also, after a few days, okay maybe more like a week, my thoughts didn’t seem as overwhelming; I’d gotten used to their constant buzzing, and even began working on tuning them out when I needed to sleep. Turns out boredom isn’t scary, just annoying, and actually does help with productivity at least for me. I’ve become better at not pushing the little or mundane tasks to the side saying “oh, I’ll do those later.” Turns out now is just as good a time as later when you’re looking for ways to fill up time. And it only took a couple of weeks, before this became normal, and I relished in finding time to get all those little things done and still have a little bit of time for myself at the end of the day. I’ve learned to no longer take that free time for granted.

While I didn’t catch up on my reading, or blog every day, or finish editing my novel, or any other of the twenty-thousand (that might be a slight exaggeration) things I’d hoped to accomplish, I did make progress on them. By the end of the month, I was one book closer to catching up on my reading challenge for the year. So I’m no longer falling behind! Forward progress! I blogged a lot more than I would have done had I not done this challenge, and now it’s become a part of my weekly routine. As we enter October, I’m more confident than before that I’ll be able to keep blogging into the future.

I remember mentioning in a blog post a few days (or weeks) back that I was nervous that I would revert back to my old ways. However, I’ve already found (I’m writing this on October 1st) that my habits have changed. I have gone on the internet today, but much much less than I would have before. Where before the moment I got home from work I would have starred at a screen for at least an hour if not more, today I chose not to. I got some things done and then sat down to write.

So, long story short, it was worth it. If you’ve been considering doing something similar, whether for a month, a week, a few days or an afternoon, I highly recommend it. It’s a chance to step back and catch your breath. It’s a chance to see what truly adds value to your life and what doesn’t. I don’t believe the internet is inherently good or bad, but I do think we should be intentional about how we use it.

I would like to take a moment to thank each and every one of you who have been reading along the past thirty days. You’ve been a great accountability partner, and I truly believe writing publically about my experience helped keep me going on those days when I wanted to break the rules. Thank you for all the encouragement and support not only throughout September but in general as well! It truly means a lot.

Until next time,

Acire

P.S. If any of you are thinking of doing something similar let me know down in the comments! I’d love to cheer you on! Also, if there are any types of content you’d like to see here on Scribe’s Canvas in the future, let me know!

now, this is a challenge… | Screen-free September Days 22 – 24

amount of screen time: 15 minutes

books behind in reading challenge: 3

We’re nearing the end of September! Less than one week before the challenge is over! I’m going to fill you in on how the past few days with the new rules have gone. But first, if you didn’t see my last post, I explained how I was going to reduce the actual amount of time I spend on my phone.

So, how is it going? Umm… yeah… Not great. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. I’m doing my best, but this is definitely more difficult than I expected, and I expected it to be pretty challenging. I’ve found that at home I’m okay, not great, still breaking the ‘rules’, but I’m starting to get a bit more conscientious. I haven’t gotten around to charging my phone across the other side of my bedroom, let alone in another room. My tired brain is very convinced that this might be the one time my alarm clock doesn’t work, so my phone has stayed by my bed. I’ve gone a couple of nights without listening to anything, but in reality, this rule hasn’t been followed once.

Also, I’m really bad with it at work. I find myself constantly checking my phone, even if I’ve just put it in my bag! It’s second nature, I don’t even really think about it. And when I catch myself, I do it anyway. And there’s almost never any new notifications. It’s all my imagination.

So, after taking this time to recognize that process of lessening (and hopefully ending) my need to always be checking my phone, I’m going to refocus my intentions for this part of the challenge.

Here’s the plan:

1. Charge my phone on the other side of the room so that I can still hear the alarm if for some (very unlikely) reason my clock doesn’t work. (Hopefully giving myself this ground will do the trick).
2. Re-commit to putting my phone in my bag and only checking it during breaks, possibly use the Pomodoro technique to signify when breaks are. (My mind kept telling me that after every five minutes it was time for a break)
3. Re-commit to not carrying my phone with me around the house, leaving it in one place with the ringer on. (This one hasn’t changed, but I thought it would be a good idea to restate it).

Even after writing that I’m feeling a little more determined. Hopefully, it’ll do the trick, and it’s only for a few days. Though who knows, I might want to keep this part of the challenge going longer since it does seem to be an issue for me.

Also, you might have noticed that my amount of ‘unallowed’ screen time counter increased. I was trying to find out which book was the start of a series, and I read an article. Nothing too crazy and I didn’t go down an internet worm-hole, but I wanted to be honest with you and myself, so I made a note of it.

Anyway, I think that’s where I’m going to leave it for today. I hope all of you are having a fantastic day and thank you so much for your support! It truly means a lot.

Until next time,

Acire

A shift in the Rules | Screen-free September Days 18 – 21

amount of screen time: 0 minutes

books behind in reading challenge: 3 books

There’s only one week left in this challenge! It’s been a journey, less monumental that I was expecting, but worth-while none the less.

I’ll be writing a proper challenge wrap-up post later once October comes around, but I’ve begun to think in earnest about what I want my relationship with screens and the internet to be after September ends. And through that process, I’ve come to realize another component of my screen-less-ness. I almost always have my phone with me.

It moves with me from room to room. I check it repeatedly, expecting there to be no notifications, but checking it anyways. I check it constantly while at work, at home, out and about. Constantly. I’ve found myself opening my phone and randomly letting my fingers hover over the screen, wanting to launch some application that I deleted in preparation for this challenge, or opening one that I left in place.

The past few days, as I’ve been thinking about October and talking with family and friends. I’ve come to accept and acknowledge that my addiction (because that is how I’m starting to see it) to my phone, in particular, goes deeper than just the use of the internet. It extends to the very physical object.

I’ve tried in the past to come up with strategies to help with this, but always came up with an excuse of why I needed my phone with me, why I needed to continually check it. And I want that to be different. With this challenge, I’ve stripped away what were legitimate things I wanted to change, but they were also distractions from the bigger picture. Underlying all that internet use is my phone.

So, with one week remaining in this challenge, I’ve decided to take it up a notch. And I’m not going to lie to you, it’s making me a bit nervous even as I write this. Which is the very reason why I’m changing the rules. I don’t want a physical object, a phone, to dictate how I’m interacting with the world, those around me and myself.

The New Rules:

• Charge my phone in a different room at night (I recently got an actual alarm clock)
• When at the home don’t take my phone with me when wandering around, but keep the ringer on
• When spending time with friends and family, keep my phone in my bag/jacket
• When at work, keep my phone in my bag with the ringer off, and only check when taking a break

I feel pretty good about these new rules. I’m curious to see how the final week of the challenge goes. I think in a way, this is what I was wanting to do all along, but didn’t quite get there at first, which is okay it’s all about the process.

That’s where I’m going to leave it today.

Until next time,

Acire

The Tarnish of Comparison | Screen-free September Day 3

Amount of Screen Time: 0 minutes

Books Behind in Reading Challenge: 4

The screens (mainly the internet) have been gone for 3 days now, and in that time I’ve already learned something about myself that’s driven me to do a fair amount self-reflection. Self-reflection that I have a feeling I’ll be doing for a while yet. I mentioned yesterday that without social media and the internet I’ve come to realize that I am affected by the comparison that comes with social media.

Until a couple of days ago, I was of the mindset that since I don’t feel the need and don’t often post on social media that I mustn’t have been as affected by the comparison and need to show my highlight reel. And while I wasn’t posting, nor felt a strong urge to, that didn’t mean that I wasn’t being affected. I was still looking at others’ feeds, videos, posts every. single. day. I had a higher opinion of myself, and I always justified that my daily use of social media was okay, because I wasn’t being affected by it in the same way I’d heard others talk about it. Only, I was, and I didn’t notice it.

It started out slowly. I started out slowly on social media. I didn’t use it much as all at first, but little by little, as my usage went up, so did my tolerance, my blindspot. It’s hard to admit, but I do think some part of me prided myself in not being that active on social media. That pride, or self-assurance, or whatever you want to call it, fed into the narrative I was telling myself that it was fine, I was fine. It wasn’t affecting me, because I had a different relationship with the internet, with social media.

I was wrong. I know that now. That’s become clear to me. I have been playing the comparison game. I’ve been feeling “stuck” because my life isn’t where it’s “supposed” to be. During a conversation with a loved one where I complained yet again about feeling stuck in life, I was able to recognize that part of the reason I was feeling this way was all the small moments of the day when I was looking through the internet into other people’s lives. Only, they are living completely different lives than me, in different stages in their lives and I was only seeing a minuscule fraction of who they are. It was then that I admitted that I’d been affected by the comparison game for years, but it was so ingrained in my everyday life that I’d had no idea it was there, slowly draining the excitement out of my own accomplishments.

That’s a sobering thought. If I’d taken a step back earlier, maybe my accomplishments wouldn’t have a tarnish to them. Maybe I’d have admitted sooner how much I am affected by comparison on social media. But I don’t have the ability to change the past, and I don’t think I’d want to. Who knows what else I’d accidentally mess up by trying to change things. Maybe I’d accidentally make myself forget that I could change the past and end up in some sort of paradox…

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t know what this means for me moving forward. I don’t know exactly how this knowledge is going to change my behavior, but I am certain that it’s going to. I want things to be different, and I’m sure that now that I’ve freed up lots of time for thinking this month that an idea will come to me. I’ll keep you up to date on any lightbulb moments I have.

Also, if I’ve learned nothing else in the past few days it’s that no one is alone in experiencing these types of things. So, if you’re feeling up to it, I ask that you share your own experiences with comparison and social media down in the comments and any advice for other reader’s that you might have. We’re all in this together.

Until next time,

– Acire

Oh the Irony | Screen-free September Day 2

Amount of Screen Time: 45 minutes

Books Behind in Reading Challenge: 5

Okay, since as I mentioned in yesterday‘s blog post that Scribe’s Canvas is my accountability partner in this screen-less September endeavor, I have to be honest with you. I did end up breaking my rules yesterday (each post is about the previous day). I read an article, a very specific article, but it still breaks the rules. I realized even as I was reading it that I was breaking the rules, but I did it anyway. It was only a few minutes, but I want to be honest with myself and you, it’s hard to grow otherwise.

Also, I broke the rules later on when I was writing day 1’s blog post. I realized that I hadn’t thought far enough ahead, and didn’t have images for each of these reflection posts. Looking for a new image for each day’s post would count as breaking the rules since it often opens up an internet rabbit hole that I spend a long time exploring. So, ironically, in order to stop me from breaking the rules in the future, I had to use the internet; all while trying to write a blog post about how I’m doing a digital detox. I ended up making the image at the top of this post one for all thirty days at once but it did require a good amount of time.

All irony aside, I’ve been doing a lot of reflection on the emotions that have been brought to my attention by this challenge. I’ve realized that these emotions/thoughts have already always been there, but they’ve been drowned out by the internet and screens until now. Before this challenge, I would have claimed proudly that I’m not affected by social media comparison. However, only 2 days in and I’ve already learned that I was wrong. It does affect me; I was just ignoring it. It struck me hard last night, and I’ve been pondering it all day today. I want to be able to write more in-depth on this, but I’m going to have to save it until tomorrow; it’s getting late here on the left-coast, and I want to get this post up for all of you.

Thank you to all of you who stopped by yesterday and today! I really appreciate all of your support.

Until next time,

– Acire

Scared of My Thoughts | Screen-free September Day 1

I’ve decided to go screen-free (ish) for the entire month of September. I am by no means the first one to do a digital detox like this. I’ve been inspired by numerous bloggers and content creators, such as Cait Flanders and Craig Benzine.

Why am I doing this? Because I’m scared of being alone in my own mind. I think it stems from having anxious thoughts and getting caught up in them. I’m one of those people that almost always doing something, and usually, when I’m not working on a project, I’m watching TV/youtube, on social media or randomly browsing the internet. I often use the internet as a distraction when I’m “bored”, relaxing or falling asleep. Why? Because during these quiet periods are the times when my thoughts are more easily heard. And, I’m scared of them. But I’m working on it. That’s what this challenge is for. 

I’ve been saying for years (yes, years) that I want to stop using my phone/computer before and while I fall asleep. But I haven’t. I would do it for a day or two, but never follow through. I was too scared, it seemed too hard, I came up with excuses. And I never stuck with it. But after reading Cait Flanders book The Year of Less I felt inspired to go without my normal “vices” for a month. During her year of less (a shopping ban), she used her blog as an accountability partner, inspiring me to do the same. Without all that screen time, I should have enough time to blog, right? 

Since Scribe’s Canvas is my accountability partner, the rules need to be stated.

The YES’s

• Texts, calls, emails
• Blogging/writing (only allowed to post, nothing else)
• Podcasts/audiobooks 
• Maps, running apps, health-related things
• Work 
• Watching TV/movies with others

The NO’s

• Social media
• Youtube, Netflix
• Games 
• News Outlets
• Shopping 
• Mindlessly Browsing 
• Goodreads (I downloaded a copy of my To-Read list in advance)

I started yesterday, it being the first of the month and all. I wanted to share a short reflection on how the day went.

Day 1 Reflection:

Amount of screen time: 0 minutes 

Books Behind in Reading Challenge: 5

I’m realizing just how many times a day I pick up my phone to aimlessly check social media and watch YouTube. Since it’s a Sunday, and I don’t have work, I’ve realized how much of my weekend is spent watching TV and videos. I’m actually a bit alarmed by it. It’s been eye-opening and it’s only day one. I’m behind on my reading challenge for the year (by about 5 books) so maybe I can catch up during this month. At the moment, the month of September seems really long, we grow by pushing past our comfort zones. That definitely feels true today.

My Experience with Fear

This next part is related to the screen-free challenge (I originally had put this part first, but then changed my mind). Back in July, I wrote a post about how I started this blog because at the time (back in 2015) the only thing stopping me from sharing my writing with the world was fear.

That being said, I didn’t really focus on facing my other fears. This year has been different. I’m not normally someone who sticks with resolutions, nor do I think that the only time to set those intentions is at the beginning of the year. However, this year I did set a resolution, well more of an intention. I’ve fought against fear’s control over my life for most of my life. And this year I knew that I was done letting it have control. I had spent the last year working diligently on my mental health, and I had come to learn just how much of my life was dictated by fear. It almost didn’t matter how big or small the individual fears were, but they all had a similar grip on my actions or lack thereof. 

The moment I knew I was done being subservient to fear was in mid-December of last year (2018). I decided to shave my head. This is a bit of a longer story and a crazy experience, so I’ll probably write about shaving my head in another post. Let me know in the comments if you’d like to see a post about that. 

From that initial decision, I decided that I would make it my goal to actually, truly, face my fears and make it a central point of my daily life. I chose the word “fearless” to symbolize my year and got started by getting rid of all my hair.

This screen-free challenge is another way I’m working through my fears. I’ve decided to write about it on Scribe’s Canvas to have an accountability partner, as well as a way to get back into writing regularly. I’ve been telling myself for months now that I “don’t’ have time or energy to write”, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I do have the time and energy but it’s been drained away by spending needless time on the internet. So far, that’s been proven to be true. I’m curious to see if that changes at all as we move into the workweek.

Before I go I’ll leave you, and myself, with a reminder:

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” – Neale Donald Walsch

Until next time,

-Acire

Reader’s Choice | April 2018

Hello lovely readers!

It’s time for another Reader’s Choice! I’ve loved doing these posts again and I hope you’re enjoying them too.

For those of you who are new to Reader’s Choice, simply choose from the words below to vote for which you’d like to inspire an upcoming post. (Note from Acire from the future: the poll wasn’t working, so I’ve made a new one. You can vote here: New Poll).

[poll id=”6″]

Here are a few past Reader’s Choice posts, feel free to check them out! This month’s post should be coming out in a couple of weeks, so keep an eye out.

Freckles

The Aviator’s Wife

A Childhood Locked Away

The Legend of the Tree of Time

If you have any requests for future posts, let me know in the comments. I love hearing your ideas and will do my best to incorporate them into future posts.

I hope all of you are having a wonderful Wednesday!

Until next time,

Acire

NaNoWriMo Recap

Hello everyone,

It feels like a long time since I’ve written here on Scribe’s Canvas. Posts have been going up, but I wrote all but one in advance. I’ve been so focused on NaNoWriMo that I haven’t sat down and written a post for about a month. It feels good to be back.

Anyway, on to the topic of this post:

I finished NaNoWriMo! I made to 50,000 words and have a half finished book! Yay!

It was a wonderful experience, though it did have its ups and downs. There were days when I wanted to do anything but write. However, for the most part, I made myself sit down and write a few sentences. More often than not those few sentences would turn into more and I was able to reach my word count goal for the day.

I have found through doing NaNoWriMo I have had to learn to push through the writer’s block. There’s nothing else to do! If I didn’t it would have overwhelmed me and I wouldn’t have been able to finish.

There have been a few lessons that I’ve neared while doing NaNo.

1. It is so much easier to reach a high word count it you plan it out before hand. I was never confused about where the story was going and had to spend little time coming up with the plot. I found that when I sat down to write, I could just get to it. It really sped me up and I feel since I had the entire story in my head at the beginning of the month I was able to tie plot points together better.

          nanowrimo.org

2. Writer’s Block is frustrating, scary, annoying and difficult and it will try to thwart you and your goals. However, pushing through all of that, writing anyways and reaching your goal is an incredible feeling.
NaNoWriMo is scary and hard, but completely worth it. You can grow so much as a writer and even if you don’t make it all the way to 50,000 words, just the act of starting (no matter your final word count) is wonderful. If you’re scared or don’t think you can do it, try it anyway! You never know what you can achieve until you try! And, if nothing else, your typing skills will probably get way faster.

Until next time,

-Acire

 

NANAWRIMO Announcement!

Hello, everyone!

I’m writing to let all of you know that I’m doing NANOWRIMO this year!

For those of you who don’t know, NANOWRIMO stands for National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write 50,000 words of a novel in the 30 days of November. There are a number of different ways to do this. The traditional way is to start a fresh project on November 1st. There is also a group who continue working on a project (I’m in this group, more on that in a little bit).

For anyone who hasn’t done NANOWRIMO, but is thinking about it, DO IT! It’s a great opportunity and while it is a bit intimidating, just the act of attempting such a feat is amazing.

This will be my fourth year of NANOWRIMO. I’ve won (reached 50,000 words by November 30) two years in a row and lost another year. I haven’t participated for the past few Novembers, and I’m hoping that this year I can make it all the way to the end! Here’s hoping!

Now, you might be wondering “What are you going to write about?” and I’m going to tell you, sort of. I’m going to continue working on a science fiction novel that I’ve been working with on and off for the past few years. This novel actually started out as a NANOWRIMO project. The year I started it, I just jumped in with no plan apart from a brief synopsis. At the time I enjoyed it, now though as I go back to edit and try to figure out where I left off, I’m a little annoyed at myself. But that’s alright! This year I’m planning (accidental pun, fun!) on remedying this.

I’m going to continue working on a science fiction novel that I’ve been working with on and off for the past few years. This novel actually started out as a NANOWRIMO project. The year I started it, I just jumped in with no plan apart from a brief synopsis. At the time I enjoyed it, now though as I go back to edit and try to figure out where I left off, I’m a little annoyed at myself. But that’s alright! This year I’m planning (accidental pun, fun!) on remedying this.

This past September, I started the long process of going trough my current draft and looking for all the little plot points that I left behind when I first started this novel. I finished this editing process a couple of weeks ago, and am now writing a deeper plot synopsis, character back stories, and a scene planner. I’ve had a little trouble with figuring out how everything will connect together, but I’m starting to find a solution. Also, I have finally found a reasonable and understandable motive for my antagonist, which I didn’t have before. She was just sort of doing these things because I needed a “bad guy”.

Anyway, I’m happy to say that I’m actually planning my novel this year and I have a good feeling about it. I hope that this will alleviate the stress of figuring out where my story is going. I don’t know if anything will come of this novel, but I have a feeling there might be something there. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

For those of you who have always dreamed of writing a novel, try out NANOWRIMO this November! It’s super fun and I have always felt like a part of a bigger community. There are meetups happening all over the place. You can find your region and connect with other writers in your community. It’s a great opportunity and a lot of, albeit crazy, fun!

Let me know if you’re planning on doing NANOWRIMO or if you’re interested! I’d love to hear about it and support you on your writing journey!

If you would like a post that goes more indepth on my prepartation process, let me know in the comments and I’ll try to get one up soon.

until next time,

-Acire

Scribe

the writer sits there

with a blank page, exploring

different worlds

---

This is day 31 of July’s Daily Word Inspiration – Challenge.